Absence of Shame

In order to better give you folks an idea of the level of insanity I am dealing with within myself and my relation to Phish, I am going to let you in on a little secret technique I have used in the past in order to obtain a seating arrangement for myself that gives me a nice cushion from the human garbage nearby. First of all, I do my best to obtain tickets in the handicapped section, which has never in my experience contained more than one legitimate cripple. Once I even gave up my seat in that section at GreatWoods for a legitimate paraplegic to have a nice place to sit. His girlfriend then proceeded to narc on me. That was nice.

If I unable to obtain handicapped seats, I bring crutches or some other accoutrement for the physically challenged. I've never had to go so far as to claim I was a wounded veteran, but I will. Obviously this indicates a serious complex or someother issue within myself that I have yet to identify and articulate. It's not easy being green.