Worcester

Phish is rehearsing at the Centrum tonight. Hopefully they will enjoy their time in central Mass and book some shows here for the fall. I'm not crazy about the Masshole factor (Red Sox hats and drinking/screaming) at Fenway, but I love the kind folks who inhabit "the heart of the Commonwealth". My life has been busy being angry at other things, and as a result the blog has suffered. The hate will be back. We here at theangryhead hate people who pretend to hate nothing.

Also, keep checking the blog for updated betting lines on openers and closers. The release of "Time Turns Elastic" will definitely alter things a bit, but there is still action to be had.

Also, we will be having an angryhead gathering during setbreak at Fenway to whine and bitch about everything. If you're interested in this bitter jam send a comment and we'll be in touch. Same goes for the gambling.

Peace assholes. And if you let you're girlfriends wear pink Red Sox hats to the show, I'm gonna fuck with your chi.

Phishbook

Gambling on Phish. This is an email I received from a friend in Boston: "Fuck PhantasyTour, lets get some real action on the lot. Since Phags are keen on their Nostradamic ability to predict set openers, closers, and all that bullshit, let them put their money where their mouth is. The opening line for a Star Spangled Banner at Fenway will be -110, and I will give +500 odds for Gamehendge in Mansfield. Spend your money on crazy prop bets not knock off designer drugs and bunk rolls. Bets. Not hugs, not drugs. Look for me in the lot at Fenway, I'll be the guy with the legal pad, betting slips, and massive pupils".

This is a great idea. The possibilities for prop bets are endless. I'll even put $50 on a "Have Mercy" if I can get 5000/1. Think about it.

Halloween Suggestion

Please don't make me go to Vegas ever again. Please. Come back to the Island.

Fenway-->Hater Jam-->Fenway

Got Fenway tickets in the mail last night. Even I can think of nothing negative about the uniqueness of Phish tickets by mail. They are fucking sweet.

If anyone cares, read the comments posted to my last post. Some superphan named Plough had some choice words critiqueing my rant against the hotline, which he felt was more than a little hypocritical. While he's right that this is a retarded blog rife with ego and general gayness, he is incorrect in thinking that he has uncovered hypocrisy. There's a difference between maintaining a telephone number about yourself(Cacto), and maintaining a blog that needlessly and stupidly criticizes a defined medium or scene(this garbage you are reading). Additionally, blogs are traditionally the domain of ego-driven punks like myself who need an area to be stupid. Toll-free telephone numbers are not. And so, Plough, you are a dumb fuck. Stop displaying yourself as an enlightened and perceptive individual. We hate you regardless. Or maybe were just kidding.

While the above is obviously unnecessary, the arrival of my Fenway tickets put me in such a positive mood I needed to search out a negative, groundless theme worthy of theangryhead. Say your prayers for a Spock's Brain opener May 31. See ya next time.

The Hotline

There is perhaps no element of the Phish scene more unjustifiable than Mike's hotline(212-330-9092).  Does Mike really believe that his insecure/quirky/offbeat persona is worthy of a hotline?  What really grinds my gears about this hotline is that he kept at it even while the band had officially broken up.  Mike's existence alone does not warrant this type of forum.  The fact that he thinks it does shows just how attention craving this guy is.  He acts like the pondering silent weirdo, but spends his time walking around Burlington with a UVM hottie (I'm cutting myself as I use this word for the first time) on each arm and gram of fishscale packed into his huge nose.  Basically, he lives the dream of every stupid asshole out there: young girls and coke.  Anyone who has seen his art exhibits knows that this guy is no Basquiat or Picasso.  He's a rich kid from Mass who plays amazing bass in an amazing band.  Thats it.  Why keep pushing the envelope?

Yet he seems to desire some sort of sycophantic following separate from the rest of the Phish fan hysteria.  I have always felt that being a "fan", which is short for "fanatic", can often be an avenue for one to degrade oneself (think of the screaming retards on camera at any televised NCAA event).  I once mentioned this to Mike on his answering machine, and his response was that his intention for the hotline was pure.  Yet I often wonder if his strange persona is nothing more than an attempt to separate himself from the masses of braindead philistines that worship his band.  Making a movie about your band is one thing, maintaining a 800 number about yourself is nothing short of egotistical madness.  

P.S.  Take a close look at the above photo from an Umphrey's show is you're not sure there's something wrong with the "jam" scene.  What kind of person wants these assholes calling their phone?

Fenway

In honor of the Fenway opener, I would like to discuss an element of Phish stage banter I actually enjoy. I am referring to when Trey, typically just before set break, announces the current score of a local professional sporting event. An excellent example is 8/14/93, where Trey announces the score of the Cardinals/Bears game during "Daniel". That was a great show, and I can only hope that Phish finishes up a strong first set with a nice update of the Sox/Tigers game. With any luck we could need a Celtics update as well, but well see about that tonight.

Also, it would be nice if during the set break we could get a live feed on the megatron of the Sox game, but that might be too much to ask. Also, I wonder whether or not there will be hot dog and peanut salesman patrolling the aisles? If so, they should be allowed to carry tasers or bear spray, lest they get mauled by some TV baby with a brain infection who just tried Ketamine for the first time.

Absence of Shame

In order to better give you folks an idea of the level of insanity I am dealing with within myself and my relation to Phish, I am going to let you in on a little secret technique I have used in the past in order to obtain a seating arrangement for myself that gives me a nice cushion from the human garbage nearby. First of all, I do my best to obtain tickets in the handicapped section, which has never in my experience contained more than one legitimate cripple. Once I even gave up my seat in that section at GreatWoods for a legitimate paraplegic to have a nice place to sit. His girlfriend then proceeded to narc on me. That was nice.

If I unable to obtain handicapped seats, I bring crutches or some other accoutrement for the physically challenged. I've never had to go so far as to claim I was a wounded veteran, but I will. Obviously this indicates a serious complex or someother issue within myself that I have yet to identify and articulate. It's not easy being green.

A Word on Tickets

There has been a lot of discussion this tour about the insane prices of tickets and how horrible scalpers are and how if we all just refused to buy from them then the problem would go away.  This is total crap.  Phish tickets are the most expensive tickets around because Phish is the best live band around.  Period.  Supply and demand.  It's that's fucking simple. 

Furthermore, who hasn't used the Phish scene to make a buck?  Phish tickets, just like drugs, sell themselves.  It seems that people fail to realize the manner in which the Phish organization has created this issue.  No longer can I get tickets out of Doniac Schvice by sending away in the mail, because after breakup #2 Phish laid off all its "tickets by mail" people in Burlington and allowed the mailorder system to be run by a large company.  They did this in order to make more money.  

I suppose what annoys me most about this are the people doing the whining.  Shut your face and just find some fucking tickets.  I am broke but I'm still gonna be in there.  However, the element of this issue I find the most retarded is the notion that Phish scene is somehow unique in its desire to get fans into the show.  Phishheads scalp tickets on ebay because Phishheads are a morally vacuous, greedy lot.  Like the bandmembers themselves, most fans are upper-middle class whitey's who love money and things.  For christ's sake, look at the way the band has taken to merchandising the shit out of every fucking thing they have ever done.  If Mike Gordon thought he could get away with accepting donations for the band he would.  Those guys love merch.  And so do the fans. Stop pretending your scene is so special.  Because it sucks.

Im going to go throw up now...

Heading Home

Nothing to say about Phish, just a final post from Vermont as I pack my car for the trip back to Concord. I had a beautiful winter, and felt "settled" more than I have in a long time. Goodbye Vermaggots, Hello Massholes.
Promising to do my best to stay sane in Mass.
Goodbye Leah and Em-- til next adventures on the ice...




Slipping on the friction slide, my skin peels to the bone
The flesh I leave behind, is something that is not my own
I beg my mirror image for a moment with my soul
He's leaning back, time to attack, IT'S ME who's in control

And every move I make he's got a hand up just in time
He's throwing several punches, and he's blocking most of mine
Defeated now I sulk and squirm in mud with frozen mice
Waiting, calculating till NEXT he ventures onto the ice.

There's a party going on across the street...

All my friends are there, and im sitting here alone writing this drivel.
What a fucking loser.

If children playing all around
To you is noise not pleasant sound
And you'd be lost on the playground
Then this one is for you

Brian and Robert

This post is a tribute to the phan group Brian and Robert, the collection of homophans who love Phish.  Apparently, sexual orientation is related to the way these folks absorb music.  I have nothing against homosexuality.  Its probably awesome.  Who fucking cares.  My issue here is that its adding another level of legitimacy to the phishosphere that just seems unnecessary.  Why cant we just be normal people who really like a certain band?  Why do we need to extend a level of complexity to the Phish reality that is based on absolutely nothing.  There should be no difference between straight fans and gay ones, because in the end they are both just upper-middle class males from New England colleges who enjoy recreational drugs.  Who they have sex with is wholly unrelated to my concert experience.  Perhaps Brian and Robert exists to offer support to those phans who are spurned by the gay community, and opposed to the Phish community.  This spurning I speak of would likely be the result of a non-phan Gay realizing how Phish fans are dressed, and thus spurning all homophans for wearing patchwork pants, ironic T-shirts(hipster phan assholes), Birkenstocks, or whatever(lets face it, you all look like retards).

Of course I realize that there are reasons to have groups like this.  The main one being that gay fans may feel threatened by the 20% or so of the attending audience who look and act like they are all members of the Duke lacrosse team.  This is a valid point.  Furthermore, while I think the existence of groups like Brian and Robert are a little silly, I have no hatred towards their members.  However, to the 5000 members of the Duke lacrosse team present at every show, I fucking hate you.

In addition, lest I end this post without making it clear I am not a homophobe, let me totally clear: as far as Gays at phish shows go, I would take 30,000 members of Brian and Robert over 1000 of the severely repressed yet clearly gay drunk broseph Yankee fans from Colgate who put their arms around eachother so they can sing along to Character Zero and Mexican Cousin.  Those guys I do hate.

You Hate Myself

Reading my own blog this past few days has given me new occasion to hate myself.  It obviously is a shit blog.  You know it.  I know it.  Thus, we have another example of how Phish has enabled and created new avenues for my own self-loathing.  Its not their fault really, its just a fact.  Goddamn it.  What an asshole, I...am.  I hate myself. 

"HATE" ers

When I found this photo while surfing the internet, my mind projected “HATE”, it was not until I saved the image to my computer that I realized it was the birthday cake for some chucklehead named “NATE”. Whatever. What matters is that it got me thinking about the kind of person who would devote an entire birthday cake to the hatred of Phish. While this may surprise you, I can assure you that the owner of such a cake would be a huge asshole, because people who hate Phish are the only thing worse than people who really like it. These people are the worst. The worst.

I may take issue with some elements of my preferred scene, but I would never presume to tell someone else that their favorite band sucks simply because I was too stupid to get it. Not that all those who don’t get Phish are stupid. Only the ones who take the time and energy to talk about how much they hate it. These people should be dragged out into the street and shot. What a drag they are. If you want to see some nice examples of these spinachheads, check out this site: www.latfh.com.

Holy Crap what a bunch of assholes!

My name is Palmer. I like Phish. I am very excited for summer tour. However, like all aspects of my life, I will undoubtedly be disappointed. I have created this blog to chronicle my own bitter judgments on the shows and the scene. Topics to be covered: 1. The feckless fanbase (including, but not exclusive to, hippie-gangsters, acid-goblins, Brosephs, hippie-retards, and those dreadlocked prostitutes we all saw at Hampton) 2. Trey's sneakers.

If you like Phish enough to have found this blog, i'll probably get to your kind at some point. Only through a deep personal inventory followed by an inevitable self-loathing will we ever conquer this terrible affliction. Peace losers. See you at Fenway.