The Hotline

There is perhaps no element of the Phish scene more unjustifiable than Mike's hotline(212-330-9092).  Does Mike really believe that his insecure/quirky/offbeat persona is worthy of a hotline?  What really grinds my gears about this hotline is that he kept at it even while the band had officially broken up.  Mike's existence alone does not warrant this type of forum.  The fact that he thinks it does shows just how attention craving this guy is.  He acts like the pondering silent weirdo, but spends his time walking around Burlington with a UVM hottie (I'm cutting myself as I use this word for the first time) on each arm and gram of fishscale packed into his huge nose.  Basically, he lives the dream of every stupid asshole out there: young girls and coke.  Anyone who has seen his art exhibits knows that this guy is no Basquiat or Picasso.  He's a rich kid from Mass who plays amazing bass in an amazing band.  Thats it.  Why keep pushing the envelope?

Yet he seems to desire some sort of sycophantic following separate from the rest of the Phish fan hysteria.  I have always felt that being a "fan", which is short for "fanatic", can often be an avenue for one to degrade oneself (think of the screaming retards on camera at any televised NCAA event).  I once mentioned this to Mike on his answering machine, and his response was that his intention for the hotline was pure.  Yet I often wonder if his strange persona is nothing more than an attempt to separate himself from the masses of braindead philistines that worship his band.  Making a movie about your band is one thing, maintaining a 800 number about yourself is nothing short of egotistical madness.  

P.S.  Take a close look at the above photo from an Umphrey's show is you're not sure there's something wrong with the "jam" scene.  What kind of person wants these assholes calling their phone?